Disclaimer: These views are the author’s personal views and are intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. I am not an expert at anything, including parenting.
I started smoking marijuana when I was 15. I was self-medicating, desperate to leave behind my pain. I quit smoking after I became a mom for the first time. I felt like smoking somehow made me an unfit mother. If you’ve ever felt like this, let me tell you that you don’t have to. There are ways to talk to our kids about marijuana and ways to partake without sacrificing being a good parent.
I’ve been lucky enough to live in two states where cannabis has been legalized. Back in 2014 I got to vote for the legalization of cannabis in Alaska and again in 2022 in Missouri. It passed in each state and I’ve been back to my old ways, legally this time, ever since.
I love marijuana for many reasons, but particularly for its natural pain relief. I have a condition where a muscle in my hip basically causes constant sciatica. Aside from some stretches, there isn’t really much traditional medicine could do to help with the pain. The only pain relief that has been consistent throughout the years is marijuana. There is also this little thing I’ve got called bi-polar disorder and the only time my brain is really quiet is when I’m stoned and listening to music.
However much I love marijuana, I love my children more. I love them more than just about anything. By the time I started smoking again, I had been in constant pain from my sciatica for over 10 years. After it was legalized in Alaska, I thought, “Why not?”. I tried it again for fun one night after the kids went to bed. The pain relief I felt was immediate, and it changed me. I decided quickly that I had to find a way to integrate marijuana back into my life in a safe way for myself and my kids.
At first, it looked much different than it does now because my kids were younger and we didn’t want them to know about mom’s choice until they were old enough to really have a conversation about it. That pain relief had to wait until nighttime, but every night I would smoke a joint and get ready for bed. It was the only time that I could get comfortable enough to sleep. I didn’t talk about it with anyone, but it wasn’t a secret either. I just never brought it up with anyone.
Now, I sit on my front porch and smoke when I feel like it since my kids are teens and young adults. We’ve had those conversations together as a family, and my kids understand that it’s no different than drinking. Everything should be done in moderation, and when you’re old enough to enjoy it legally and responsibly. Those are my rules.
I’ve often been asked how I handle my kids smoking. It’s simple. I remember what I was like at that age and what I was doing my parents backs. I don’t want my kids to feel like they can’t talk to me about it. So, I expose them to the conversations on a regular basis. We talk about drugs just like we talk about drinking or learning how to drive. We stress responsibility and being smart. Things are different for our kids than they were for us. Things are more dangerous now then when we were their age. Drugs laced with fentanyl and all kinds of scary stories have helped me figure that out.
Communication is the key to everything. Exposure helps as well. I know when I was a kid I saw every adult around me drunk and acting like idiots. At least my kids see me laughing and hungry! My oldest smokes as well, but he’s legal. We sit around on the porch, smoke together once in a while. We have incredible conversations on those occasions!
I know some people will come for me, but the truth is that I honestly believe in the healing powers of cannabis. It’s a natural medicine that was given to us to help us through this insane life we live. It relaxes me and calms me down. I’ve never blacked out from smoking alone, only when I’ve mixed it with a lot of alcohol. I don’t recommend doing that at all! It sucks. I don’t drive when I smoke. I stay at home and chill out.
I don’t recommend smoking all day or anything. I save mine for right after work a couple of hours before the kids come home from school and after dinner most nights. At least, that’s the goal. I spend that few hours after work writing so it’s a good time to partake. I’m back down to earth having completely let go of any crap from work by the time my babies come home. We hang out until dinner time and then I or my husband cooks dinner. Then it’s time for everyone to retreat to their respective hobbies for a couple of hours until bedtime. I’m a pretty responsible smoker as I don’t smoke before work or on my breaks at work or from the time I come home.
There are some drawbacks to smoking all day, at least for me. I tend to hyper focus on things like my needlepoint or the book I’m listening to at that moment to the point that my kids will wonder why I’m chilling on the front porch all day. At this age, my kids think they don’t need me anymore, but your presence as a parent is one of the most important things we can give our kids. I hope my kids know ( I think they do) that I will always be the constant in their lives. Even when I’m gone, I’ll still be with them. That’s the power of a mother that loves her kids unconditionally. Smoke when you need to, but remember, your life does not stop for a good high. Your presence is still required so don’t get faded from the time you wake up until you go to sleep at night! Be a grown up!
– SM